Control. December 5, 2008

In my 21 years of my life, I have not been so bad-tempered and easily irritated before. It’s making me feel really bad about myself, and I feel sorry towards him too. I’m not going to let my emotions come over me anymore, because I will CONTROL.

This is what I’ve got through some soul-searching last night before I sleep. And I thought it may be good to share with you all who may be facing friendship/relationship/family problems.

C = Confidence; Believe in what you see, what you choose, and most importantly, believe in yourself.

O = Orientated, socially; One has to be equally balanced, no one can live happily without their life partner/family/friends.

N = Neutral; No one is perfect in this world. If he/she does not subscribe to your beliefs, let it be, because that’s him/her, and you’ve chose to be with him/her.

T = Tenderness; Everyone tends to remember all the agony and bad things associated to the person, but forgot all the love and tenders they got from the same person.

R = Rational; Sometimes, our emotions ride on our head and we do or say things that are hurtful to our loved ones. But at the end of the day, you know you will hurt yourself the most.

O = Obviate; If you know you are going to do something bad/hurting, just remember one super-duper good thing about that person, and I think it can be stopped.

L = Learn (your lesson); Never repeat the same old vicious cycle again.

The once forgotten, is now remembered. I will not let any bad emotions ride over me again, because a lifetime’s too short to be in agony even for a second.

I will Control. =)

Travel Itinerary + 貧乏大作戦(Operation Yen) November 22, 2008

Gladys’ Winter Japan Itinerary’s out!

Dec 17, 2008

Depart:  6:00 AM(SIN)

Arrive:  1:50 PM(NRT)

Duration: 6 hr 50 min

Northwest Airlines 20

If you don’t want to miss me for a long time, please be nice and come send me off at.. hmm.. 5AM? haha. Just kidding, please continue your sleep, and so I’ll forget about your presents too!(*evil grin*) jkjk

Okay people! For once in Gladys Tan’s life, she’s going to plan her finance for her trip to Japan this Winter.

It’s a do-or-die thing, because my budget’s really tight this time. It owes to my Impulsive Retail Therapy again.. lol. But well, I bought my Winter necessities in SG so I don’t have to buy them in Japan! (I hope I won’t.. cross fingers*)

Let’s calculate the Pessimistic plan first…

Min. amount I should have by Dec 16th: $2390 = 149,375 yen

Transport(+2-way limo-bus) = 36,000yen

CNY Kidnap plan = 86,437.50yen

________________________________________________________

Amt. left to spend on food and shopping = 26937.50 yen

GREAT……

________________________________________________________

Okay, let’s calculate the Optimistic Plan (how I’m lovin’ this. lol)

Min. amount I should have by Dec 16th: $2750 = 171,875yen

Transport(+2-way limo-bus) = 36,000yen

CNY Kidnap plan = 86,437.50yen

________________________________________________________

Amt. left to spend on food and shopping = 49,437.50yen

________________________________________________________

Conclusion is, I’m really poor. lol. But there’s a way of saving money. Stay at home most of the days~ which is not bad at all. =))

So… what else did I not buy yet? LOL.

Purpose? (Friends) November 21, 2008

Just last week, I was so happily preparing all the itineraries and stuffs to pack for my trip to Japan, and now, I feel so tired. lol. Maybe I prepared too early? Or am I just not in the mood?

I’m flying on the 17th Dec, and guess what, I have to wake up like 3++am in the morning for a damn 6AM flight. Alright, I’m not gonna sleep. lol.

I’m going for a longer hiatus this time round, but I’m not really anticipating it as much as before. Except for being able to strut off my Winter fashion on the streets of Tokyo. lol.

Hopefully, my stay this time round can be a little more fruitful and enjoyable. One thing that I look forward though, is to meet the familliar faces of friends in Senshu. heh. Quoting from Kentaro “Kenshukan is the Ghetto man!” hands up!

Suddenly, I forgot what’s my purpose of going to Japan for sooo long. lol. Then I realised, “oh, to visit my boyfriend (and his friends).” lol.

I’ll really miss all my friends and my family in Singapore during my stay in Japan. Because they let me know my self-worth and recognise my importance. =)

So.. What should I buy in Japan? LOL.

Overwhelmed. November 11, 2008

It’s not good. このままで、私は６年の自分を戻ちゃう・・

It’s so hard that I feel that there’s a really heavy rock that weighs a 100 ton pressing down onto my heart.

I can hear my own breathing getting slower and slower, and sometimes, I just forgot to breathe.

My tears will always hanging around in my eyes, but they’re too proud to fall on their own.

I can feel my blood draining away from my fingers as they gets colder and colder by the minute, just like my brain.

My heart is twitching so much so that my hands are hanging the the mid air, not knowing what I want to hold onto.

Smiling has never been such a difficult thing to do.

I feel like staying at home. I don’t want to go out anymore. I don’t want to listen to anyone anymore.

I’m back down to Earth. October 7, 2008

I’ve been slapping myself back to reality since last week. I need to get back my nice image, so…

1) Extreme Retail Therapy

Omg, I now understand why women love to shop so much. LOL. However, I bought mainly beauty products, such as the DKNY Apple Delicious perfume, Exfoliating scrub, Slimming Gel, Facial Toner and Moisturizer, and lastly a set of lingerie. Okay, then I feel so good about myself, but when I looked into the mirror, something’s not right. So i went to pluck my eyebrow at Erabelle. Oh god, they’re so good with it, such that I look so much more spirited(and prettier, lol).

2) Studies

I am SO engrossed with my studies that I forgot everything else other than that. I want to learn so much more things that my hair is tingling with excitement of what I will learn tomorrow. I don’t want to lose!!

3) Exercise

Been hitting California Fitness with Xinni(Chia) these few days and really feel SO good about myself after all the workouts, steam bath and sauna. THIS IS LIFE!! woot~ haha. I will be starting my dance lessons from 16th October onwards, hopefully I’ll be able to pick it up again. I bet my stamina is so darn lousy now. Lol.

4) Work

Work hasn’t been too bad because I use most of my time to study. But despite of the 6 days work week, I’m going to use my break day to work too! Will be guiding Japanese high school students around Singapore! So I now declare that I’m going to use my super power battery all the way until… 23rd Oct~! How does that sound like? Ah, but actually, I’m using my off days for dance lessons too, so.. LOL.

I am Glad. Really glad. =)

Trust. October 3, 2008

I know I have been on hiatus for a super long time again. Lol. Well, when something major happens in Gladys’ life, she doesn’t really blog that much if you have already noticed. I’m not really sure how long am I going to continue posting new posts this time round, but I’ll definitely write if I’ve inspirations that suddenly springs upon me. =)

Trust. I used to think that, it’s really easy to trust in a relationship, so I didn’t really understand why couples quarrel. However, being in a relationship myself now, it really takes a great deal to trust your love one. Oh! But I still stand firm to the point of “argument-free relationship”. Why make your life bad when you know at the end of the day, while you’re hurting him/her, you’ll get double the pain? I don’t understand the logic at all. Hmm.. Maybe someday I’ll quarrel(playfully) with my husband about “I don’t wanna change diapers for baby..” or “My hands are turning jelly, so I can’t cook today..”. LOL. But I’ll still do it anyway~ Haha.

Okay, back to topic.

As some of you may have already know(’cause I’ve been saying that I missed him..lol), my love one was already far apart from me(Japan and Singapore), but now he’s flew to America for studies, and we’re like.. 11 hours apart now. It is so hard for us to talk, as when I’m awake, he’s asleep and vice versa. However, we still manage to talk for close to an hour each time on MSN. Honestly speaking, I was rather upset and disappointed by the fact that he can’t talk to me much, but I knew it can’t be help. So I’m rather contented the way things are now. Because.. hey, he bothers to talk to me even when he’s busy/tired! That really means a lot to me.. At the beginning, I kept thinking “where is he now?”, “is he having lots of fun till he’s forgotten about my presence?”, “is he falling for another person?”, etc etc. Then gradually, I realised, and I’ve learnt that, to trust, it has to be from the heart.

It doesn’t mean that he/she doesn’t love/think of you when both of you are far apart. In fact, he/she who’s sleeping next right to you now, may be thinking of another man/woman! It’s not about the physical distance, but the mental distance. Something will always be inside your heart that makes you wriggle with joy; something you’re so proud to have that it warms you up whenever you think of it; and something you embrace with so much enthusiasm and contentment that you feel that you’re not in this world.

I believe, so far in my life, only one person has made me felt this way. And I hope he’ll always be the only one who can make me feel this way. =)

I trust you. S.H.M.I.L.Y.

Girls night IN. =) October 5, 2008

Chun, Jos and Ni stayed over at my place on Friday night till Saturday morning.

It’s been so long since they’ve last stayed over at my place, and I feel so loved. They are absolutely the ones whom I can trust the most for advice since all 4 of us have really different characters and opinions. Everytime when we spill our troubles out, problems regarding family, friendship and relationships, I really feel at ease and felt that I’m being healed. Though I may have many friends, but I realise at the end of the day, there are many friends that don’t know who I am. Partially because, I don’t show them who I really am.

Being with the girls make me feel like I am me again. I can tell them every little tiny pieces of secret within me, with so much ease that I feel good. lol. I think Jos is right. Though we know that we may have little conflicts at time, at the end of the day, we’ll still be as good.

Jos: Though you told Lieqi about… but somehow or rather, I can’t get mad at you. LOL. All the best for your first flying experience and.. HMM.. yah. TRY HARDER. LOL.

Ni: I like you when you’re with us, and I know you like it too! So you don’t have to change ‘cos you’ll always be important in our heart!!

Chun: OMG, I love your cool way of handling relationship! You’re my aim, woman. Haha. After talking to you, you let me found myself once again.

Love you girls~!

I think too much. June 22, 2008

Okie, ignore my post yesterday. heh. =)

I am afraid. June 21, 2008

It’s the third time in my life I am feeling this way.

I feel that I am losing it.

I have seen so many long relationships among my friends, and I really wonder why I couldn’t keep one.

So I ask myself questions. Maybe I’m not interesting enough to keep one’s attention? Maybe I’m just so easily replaceable? Maybe I’m not good enough to deserve one?

I have seen how fast a person’s heart could actually change in a split second. Not to mention, twice. While you’re holding on to the sweet promises and the days you’ve spent together, the other person would have changed. Just like a metal. It gets heat up really easily, but it cools down almost instantaneously as well.

This scares me. It really does.

Maybe I’m just not up to it.. because I do not have the courage to feel the pain yet again.

Mars vs Venus. May 5, 2008

This is the second time I saw it happening consecutively in two days.

Imagine this: the train is fully packed with people, you(the supposedly macho/fit guy) are accompanied by your petite girlfriend who wore a 5-inch high heels just to accomodate to your height. While standing up, two of you act super lover-dovey and as A.A. as possible. HOWEVER, the next second a person got his/her butt up from their seat and it isn’t even cooled yet, YOU, the protector of the country aka the everything also (want to) bao ga liao person aka the one with more muscle units, immediately STICKS your butt to the vacant seat without even looking at your girlfriend. And to add, you sat down and sigh a relief when you got that seat, and look up to your girlfriend with a pair of tired/sleepy eyes which are trying to tell your girlfriend that: “darling, i’m so tired, pls don’t ask me to stand up again”, and so your soft-hearted girlfriend just let you be.

What’s wrong with the guys/boyfriends nowadays?

NOT SAY I WANT TO SAY(quoting from Gerald Tan), everytime I see this happening, it makes me think about what kind of person I will be marrying in the future. You can say I’m like picking the perfect needle out of the deep blue sea, but HELLO, marriage is no child’s play yah? Of course have to be picky. But just looking at GENERAL crowd of guys, makes me shudder with fear of living my life with such a person.

However, I do agree there’s a lot of guys who “appears/act” gentlemanly. Do not misunderstood. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, ’cause at least you try to be nice to ladies. What I really can’t stand is self-centred men. I’m so sorry about this guys, but looking at real life examples around me, self-centredness MOSTLY occurs inside men. Sometimes I even think that I can be a better man than the men in general. My lady boss told me it’s better to find a guy who is slightly older than you, so he will take care of you and let you have your way. I don’t really think so though. Some secondary school kids are doing even better than grown-ups in terms of letting seats to ladies, etc etc.

So the best way to choose a boyfriend or life partner, is to skim through Gladys’s close guy friends(not the AJ ones lah, they are my sistas k), ’cause only those guys who are good-natured enough will be reckoned as good friends by the great Gladys Tan. LOL. Seriously, up until now, I have never stay long contact with guys who are ill-tempered or self-centred because I chose to do so. Therefore, if you realised I’m not talking to you a lot, don’t worry, you just simply CMI. Haha.